Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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