I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
