Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She said her name was "party"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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