i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Watching her eat just hurts me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
