i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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