I heard we made out
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
