oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
