yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
