Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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