Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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