i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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