where am i from again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
