In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
