the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
