Already got asked if we're dating
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
