if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
