I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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