God, you're like boner-b-gone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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