I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
