The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
