Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
