I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
