he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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