HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize