I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
