if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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