so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My penis needs a shock collar
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
