yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
