She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
