people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize