You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's get the cat blown out
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
