you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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