god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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