I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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