you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
