so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
