I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
