I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize