That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm too high and old for this...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
