Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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