Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
