I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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