did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every concussion has its silver lining
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
