bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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