how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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