I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
