I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
