just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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