I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
