You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
