I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
