were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
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