Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You made out with two different species that night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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