i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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