so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
