This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
