let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
