UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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