This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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