Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
