A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
