TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
