but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
