i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
